Although the creation of this thread was twofold, in the second sentence of the first post I said I also did it to have a place to ramble on and let people take it or leave it....and I'm in the mood....
Cursing.
Why do we do it and what can we do about it? I'm not just talking about online or even when it's seemingly not inappropriate....but overall and why we do and why we shouldn't....
I'm just going to start with my major malfunction and how I get there and my views on that. With me....it's a trigger of anger, frustration, but ultimately.....a lack of control.....
First, it's the onset of anger, but the common responses are to get defensive and raise your voice....When the issue is still unresolved, then the curse words come out...at first....just to try to put extra emphasis on my points...."I said f'ing (whatever) ....then as the frequency increases....becomes a warning to the person in conflict....."you are REALLY starting to P me off MF"....
OK.... So what's the real issues, triggers, and solutions in this scenario?
First off....using curse words to try to give extra weight to your position is ridiculous. In fact, it shows you are frustrated by your inadequacy to find the proper words and composure to remain credible and civilized in verbal disagreement, and has the effect of weakening your position.
So the solution is to
control the urge to take the easy way out ....and remain calm and use the proper attitude and words....and if you are unable....simply concede that your adversary is better equipped to handle the debate...and say instead: " You may be able to argue better than me, but that doesn't mean you're right." And then, carefully re-examine all the points you couldn't defend....make sure you we're really right, (and not just defensive out of emotions) and build a defense for your weak points. In short though, you lost control, and it's more important to break the cycle to eliminate future reoccurring incidents than dealing with the one at hand.
Point being: If we don't stop and examine the reasons and triggers for bad behavior....we have virtually zero chance of altering it.
So....again with anger....cursing is often the precursor to physical violence....It's a way of saying...."You've pushed me past caring about rules or civilization....and you're about to reap the worst I have to offer ".
It's hard for me to say that in this instance it's that inappropriate....although...."I'm warning you for the last time.." should be just as effective....and perhaps more so...because, it shows the person stating it is in control, and therefore, probably pretty confident in his ability to stay in control of the next step.
But....in the end....they mean the same thing....and if cursing is what and all it takes to keep an altercation from violence....OK.
So....the "Good 'ol Boy" cursing....guys get together, the curse words start flowing....pretty soon, it's just a common part of every sentence.
NOW....This is just f ridiculous, bunch of f a hoes shootin the shirt about no fing in paticular....whoops...sorry, got carried away....
"Watch your mouth, we're in mixed company !" Why? Why not watch your mouth in same sex company? Monkey see....monkey do... Rare is the man that doesn't feel some inadequacies and need to be accepted among his fellow man. And the root of this goes back to teen years...when the urge to belong is strongest and the cursing really begins. The real man is the one who refrains....(however, if there's beer or football involved....if you're not cussing,....you just ain't right)....
Finally, there are the worst of the lot....the ones that can't compete one sentence without at least three curse words....."And you fing know who you fing know SOB..." I'm mean really, that just telegraphs ignorance and stupidity, lack of self control, a HUGE lack of confidence in themselves....(and a bit off subject....but often these same folks share the "laughing period ") That is the finish every sentence with ha ha ha.... Why? Because they are the most insecure of all....they are so afraid of criticism for their statements, that the ha ha ha....is their insurance policy against any negative reply to what they just said...they can bail out with: "I was just kidding..." Even when they ARE kidding....they are so insecure that they are afraid no one will laugh....
So....what is the point of all this raving? What? Poboy with a point ?
Seriously, as I said....unless we examine WHY we do things, we have little chance of changing them....so maybe this can help someone....(even if we can just get Pat to cuss less
Jk.
!!!!!!!
JK......
