Doc Sprocket
*********
So.....
Wife says we've gotta go get groceries tonite. Got home from work, collected the family, tripped off to Walmart for groceries.
As we're going thru checkout, the snotnosed idiot 17-year-old minimum wage blond moron running the till notices a little blood/juice on a package of ground beef. I get an "ewww", and the little mental midget actually runs off to the can to wash her hands! In the middle of my order! Couldn't believe my eyes! Only honesty stopped me from grabbing a bunch of stuff off the belt and tossing it into the reusable bags we were loading. Unreal! But wait, this gets better...
After returning, I pointed out that she had a bottle of hand sanitizer. Snot-nose there tells me it's useless compared to a hand washing, because her dad's a mechanic... something... I dunno, I tuned out, my brain was beginning to melt. I tried to tell the stupid cow (my sincere apologies to cows everywhere) that the pink, bubblegum flavoured crap in the ladies room does f~all for the bacteria that had just nearly killed her a moment before, but apparently my words had too many syllables for her, or something. Then- And this is what almost caused The Great Bradford Walmart Homicide Of 2010- Then...
Jessica bloody Simpson there tells me, "Y'know, like next time, for courtesy,, you could like, get a baggie from the produce department, and like wrap this..."
Courtesy? Are you F**KING KIDDING ME?!?! I was beside myself! Courtesy? This coming from some bubble-headed meatstick that buggered off to the can in the middle of my checkout? So... What? It's my fault your employer obviously had a defective package somewhere in that huge coolerful of meat with an IQ quite obviously superior to yours? Did your feeble Cashier-Barbie mind not consider the possibility that maybe- just maybe- I didn't notice a drop or two of cow juice on the danged thing, and if I had, I'd have selected a different package?
I have never gotten that mad, that blindingly fast in my life! I had to bite my tongue like he//, because I knew If I let 'er rip like I was dying to, I'd get my @ss tossed outta Walmart for verbally disemboweling the dumbest cashier on Planet Earth! And, since my wife and kids were there, I figured it'd be wise to give that one a miss...
I cannot believe her parents were allowed to reproduce.
Brace yourself, folks- These are tomorrow's leaders.
We're screwed.
Wife says we've gotta go get groceries tonite. Got home from work, collected the family, tripped off to Walmart for groceries.
As we're going thru checkout, the snotnosed idiot 17-year-old minimum wage blond moron running the till notices a little blood/juice on a package of ground beef. I get an "ewww", and the little mental midget actually runs off to the can to wash her hands! In the middle of my order! Couldn't believe my eyes! Only honesty stopped me from grabbing a bunch of stuff off the belt and tossing it into the reusable bags we were loading. Unreal! But wait, this gets better...
After returning, I pointed out that she had a bottle of hand sanitizer. Snot-nose there tells me it's useless compared to a hand washing, because her dad's a mechanic... something... I dunno, I tuned out, my brain was beginning to melt. I tried to tell the stupid cow (my sincere apologies to cows everywhere) that the pink, bubblegum flavoured crap in the ladies room does f~all for the bacteria that had just nearly killed her a moment before, but apparently my words had too many syllables for her, or something. Then- And this is what almost caused The Great Bradford Walmart Homicide Of 2010- Then...
Jessica bloody Simpson there tells me, "Y'know, like next time, for courtesy,, you could like, get a baggie from the produce department, and like wrap this..."
Courtesy? Are you F**KING KIDDING ME?!?! I was beside myself! Courtesy? This coming from some bubble-headed meatstick that buggered off to the can in the middle of my checkout? So... What? It's my fault your employer obviously had a defective package somewhere in that huge coolerful of meat with an IQ quite obviously superior to yours? Did your feeble Cashier-Barbie mind not consider the possibility that maybe- just maybe- I didn't notice a drop or two of cow juice on the danged thing, and if I had, I'd have selected a different package?
I have never gotten that mad, that blindingly fast in my life! I had to bite my tongue like he//, because I knew If I let 'er rip like I was dying to, I'd get my @ss tossed outta Walmart for verbally disemboweling the dumbest cashier on Planet Earth! And, since my wife and kids were there, I figured it'd be wise to give that one a miss...
I cannot believe her parents were allowed to reproduce.
Brace yourself, folks- These are tomorrow's leaders.
We're screwed.
