LOL.
When I bought the house before this one, I acquired it through a realtor specializing in bank-forclosed homes. After moving in, it came to light that the neighbor on one side was the son of the homeowner who lost her house to the bank, which I bought.
At first he was upset that I wasn't willing to sell the house back to his mom and responded by throwing trash over my fence. At first it was a few beer cans, a couple of banana peels, stupid stuff like that and I'd respond by throwing the items back over the fence.
Eventually this escalated to bags of kitchen garbage and when the bags hit the ground on my side of the fence the bags would spit open and make mess, and the rodents would pick it at night making the mess even bigger.
One day he and his cousin left the house, but he also left his "chop top" honda civic street racer in his driveway with the top removed, leaving the interior completely exposed. I only noticed this because I had just rebagged his kitchen garbage strewn throughout my yard and was placing it by his garbage cans in front of his house.
I had an idea.
I relocated my very large tow-behind wood chipper to the fence, and aimed the chute over the fence. I chipped a few sticks and made adjustments until the debris landed *in* his car.
I mowed the lawn and feed the grass clippings into the chipper. I chipped all the deadfall (dead fallen branches from the trees). I chipped my mulch pile which at this point was just a vast pile of leaves.
Now that it's mid-afternoon I debated putting the chipper away but I was having so much fun I couldn't resist the evil voices in my head.
I cleaned out my fridge, and chipped two gallons of about-to-expire milk, old meat I never cooked, old cold cuts, several slices of last night's pizza, and of course, the bottom shelf of week-old chinese food.
He want's home yet and I thought of one more thing to chip - almost a year's worth of newspapers and about two years worth of automotive magazines I've been saving for the next Boy Scout's paper drive.
Chip, chip, chip. While hauling newspapers and magazines from the back of the garage to the chipper I noticed several beat-up boxes in the corner with old circuit boards hanging out. Some of the boards were old ISA computer parts some I had no idea what they were from or for, so I chipped all of it, and the dilapitated boxes as well.
Once done, I relocated the chipper back to the side of the garage, and went inside.
Later in the evening, long past sunset, the police showed up though they never asked me outright if I knew what happened. Instead, they asked me if the "feud" was over to which I replied "It is until he dumps more trash over the fence." The police had been called at least once a week for the past six months so they knew the feud was going on for a long time.
I'm a firm believer in what I will call "retaliatory justice". Throw stuff on my lawn, I throw 10 times more back.
lol
