There is not too much that we can do about the social ills of society. The Bible even says that "man has dominated man to his injury". How true is that!
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No Bullying? No, BULL-ying!
- Thread starter Doc Sprocket
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Orange Krate
Active member
Wow! I can't wait to read all these to chime in. so i will just tell my story.
Last year my son, 9, was being bullied on the bus by a kid 2 years older and about 40 pounds heavier. 3 cameras on the bus did nothing. I told him to punch him just as hard as he could in the nose.
The next day he did. Broke his glasses. The kid was gonna tell his mom but the bullying stopped. I said, "Good! Now become friends." as I prepared to pay for new glasses.
But they became friends. As the weeks went by he kept going over to former bully's house. I said one day I'll have to meet his parents so we can laugh about the whole thing. But then my boy started acting wierd. My heart sank. I thought, "he's still being bullied only it's worse." I made him spill it.
Turns out, they were friends but the kid had to tell his mom my kid was someone else to get to hang out with him. She thought MY kid was the bully. He had to go by a ficticious name to go over there.
Anyway, we ironed it out and and do laugh about it now. They are still friends.
Now then, my take: We are being castrated as a society. It's the psychological aspect of bullying today that makes this issue out of hand. Kids feel powerless...even the bullies, that's why they act out, to feel power. Life isn't real to them, it's digitally bubble wrapped in CGI.
I'm continually proud of the young people on here who do real life things to feel alive. I've seen bully posts before and were really proud of of they were handled. This board gives me hope.
...my breaks over now, i could type all night... so just watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p680aaJDxVA
Last year my son, 9, was being bullied on the bus by a kid 2 years older and about 40 pounds heavier. 3 cameras on the bus did nothing. I told him to punch him just as hard as he could in the nose.
The next day he did. Broke his glasses. The kid was gonna tell his mom but the bullying stopped. I said, "Good! Now become friends." as I prepared to pay for new glasses.
But they became friends. As the weeks went by he kept going over to former bully's house. I said one day I'll have to meet his parents so we can laugh about the whole thing. But then my boy started acting wierd. My heart sank. I thought, "he's still being bullied only it's worse." I made him spill it.
Turns out, they were friends but the kid had to tell his mom my kid was someone else to get to hang out with him. She thought MY kid was the bully. He had to go by a ficticious name to go over there.
Anyway, we ironed it out and and do laugh about it now. They are still friends.
Now then, my take: We are being castrated as a society. It's the psychological aspect of bullying today that makes this issue out of hand. Kids feel powerless...even the bullies, that's why they act out, to feel power. Life isn't real to them, it's digitally bubble wrapped in CGI.
I'm continually proud of the young people on here who do real life things to feel alive. I've seen bully posts before and were really proud of of they were handled. This board gives me hope.
...my breaks over now, i could type all night... so just watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p680aaJDxVA
OzFab
Well-known member
Probably for the same reason people create computer viruses that destroy computers. If they put their talent to positive use, they'd be made of money but, instead, they choose to stay poor while living in their parents' basement
DeathStarr89
Loose Nut
My 13yr old was bullied for a few years, all he did was join the football team now it's knee deep in the pink and is left alone by the bullies.
I was bullied in school, stood up for myself and got respect. That was back in the 90's where you could break a bullies nose and only spend a week on "In School Suspension".
I was bullied in school, stood up for myself and got respect. That was back in the 90's where you could break a bullies nose and only spend a week on "In School Suspension".
FatCat
2 stroke Addict!
I think this is all over society today. I personally believe its selfishness. People don't think how their decisions will affect the others involved.
On the Power thing. That's an excellent point. If you give someone power you will soon see where their heart really is. If you give a good person power they will become an even better person. These are the people who rock the world. I believe in the end those who abuse their power will have it come back to bite them in the butt. Every action, every decision you make, someone see's it. People who may not be important in your life today could very well have a power position over you in the future. They'll remember. I remember a great quote. (I'm a dork, like reading quotes) Might butcher it but here's my go. "people will forget the things you say, they will forget the things you do, but they'll never forget the way you made them feel."-cant remember. Basically having a good character matters. If you do the right thing every chance you get I promise you it will pay you back 10 fold. The power thing is a great subject for these young men.
FatCat
2 stroke Addict!
Power(or money) magnifies a persons character. That's what I was trying to say.
that's very good, i'll likely use that from time to time
speaking specifically to the topic of school-age bullying, can the tribe effect enough influence on a person of power to force a change for the better? how?
FatCat
2 stroke Addict!
I've got another question. I was thinking about this subject the other night before I went to sleep. Where are the bullied kids friends? Do kids now allow their friends to be bullied without sticking up for them? If any of you guys are that friend your a pos. I was never bullied so I can't speak from experience so maybe I don't get the circumstances. I just try to remember back when I was that age. If me and my friends were standing there, there is absolutely no way a bully would have bullied anyone. That or he would've had to have been ready to bully all of us. Is this the missing link? Do you guys not stick up for your friends anymore. That would make you a lousy friend. I think the solution to the problem is in the childrens hands. The principal or other authority figure can't be watching all the time. Other students are though. I'm just not getting why nobody steps up.
it's my opinion that the latest generation is being trained by a generation or two that's already developed that apathetic mindset, so this is going to be a very difficult process.
what if the person being bullied isn't your "friend" but just another person in your local society? assuming we don't want to add more violence to the equation, do you think that yelling your disapproval, or stating you WILL snitch if necessary, make a difference?
are people afraid of being "next" or is there maybe a secondary power-play going on, where you at least feel superior to the person being bullied?
ah...but what if EVERYONE on the scene spoke up, EVERY time? what a sense of power that must give the tribe, to see firsthand the results of standing up for a "stranger" just because it's right.
if you are afraid of being next, ask yourself what you're afraid of...are you afraid of being out there, on your own, with no help in sight altho everyone's watching?
now ask yourself, when that happens, what will you think of all those folks who left you out there? exactly. now put 2 and 2 together, and tell me "how's it feel?" feel like you want some revenge on those cowards?
will you become the next bully, either while still in school or perhaps later in your adult life? trust me, an adult bully with enough power can destroy the world, just look around to see i'm tellin' you true.
i think it's time humanity got off it's lazy butt and did a little more evolving.
what if the person being bullied isn't your "friend" but just another person in your local society? assuming we don't want to add more violence to the equation, do you think that yelling your disapproval, or stating you WILL snitch if necessary, make a difference?
are people afraid of being "next" or is there maybe a secondary power-play going on, where you at least feel superior to the person being bullied?
ah...but what if EVERYONE on the scene spoke up, EVERY time? what a sense of power that must give the tribe, to see firsthand the results of standing up for a "stranger" just because it's right.
if you are afraid of being next, ask yourself what you're afraid of...are you afraid of being out there, on your own, with no help in sight altho everyone's watching?
now ask yourself, when that happens, what will you think of all those folks who left you out there? exactly. now put 2 and 2 together, and tell me "how's it feel?" feel like you want some revenge on those cowards?
will you become the next bully, either while still in school or perhaps later in your adult life? trust me, an adult bully with enough power can destroy the world, just look around to see i'm tellin' you true.
i think it's time humanity got off it's lazy butt and did a little more evolving.
Doc Sprocket
*********
Where are the friends? Dang good question- that points accusingly at society on a very large scale. It's it amazing how someone can get beaten/raped/shot/killed/whatever in a very public place, and, not only did nobody help, but "I didn't see nothin, yo!" Happens all the time. Apathetic is right.
OzFab
Well-known member
I think that comes down to the "I don't want to get involved" mentallity of people today.
When it comes to kids being bullied, I see one of two scenarios:
1. kids who are bullied, more often than not, keep to themselves & don't have friends (this is also what can make them a good target)
2. the kids friends don't stand up because they're afraid they might be next...
When it comes to kids being bullied, I see one of two scenarios:
1. kids who are bullied, more often than not, keep to themselves & don't have friends (this is also what can make them a good target)
2. the kids friends don't stand up because they're afraid they might be next...
machinist@large
Active member
WOW
Reading thru all this is starting to making my head hurt:
the fact that it's a really relevant issue doesn't change that.
Trying to boil this down; back in the day, when I was in school (mid `80's), I was seriously bullied. I never got away from it; just dealt with each case as it came up.
1] Sophmore year. As a large(ish?) kid (6'+, 280 lbs), and couldn't give a flyin' flip less about sports, most of my school's football team was intimidated by me. Guess what happened......
Needless to say, things finally came to a head; in, of all places, the line for class pictures. ( Two of my classmates went pro with the NFL; the one who was the running back still talked trash afterwards; the linebacker, whom I took down, well, we were quietly peaceable when we both graduated.).
2] 2nd week of my junior year, the leader of the smoker/ who knows what else crowd is seriously
about this stinky hog farmer having the locker next to him (I had turned him in for suspicious activity the day before); he tried to tell me what his rules were: me being me, I asked him how the locker check went....
I can tell you this much; I may be nearsighted as a bat, but when you're wearing a jacket a colorful as that??????
ME.. Broken glasses, two bloody lips
HIM.. Broken nose and 2 (2 ????) black eye's; all this under the watchful eye's of the assistant principal (yes, he was RIGHT THERE).
The A.P. tried to hang me out to dry ("cause actually doing his job would require, like, you know, work?). There are many times when My parents have failed me; this was not one of them. On the other hand, paybacks are a b.
Payback was first day of school of my senior year; class size had gotten so big (and we now had that many students) that we now had to share a locker. Guess who my new LOCKER PARTNER was?
Even I'm not that stupid; I missed all my classes (and both my parents were called [and on site]). That was my locker assignment; if anything suspicious came along/ up, well that was my problem. My parent's response? His parking permit (for skills/tech school/ work release) had better be approved ASAP, and my brother and I carried our books. Needless to say, he didn't think he should be "penalized" for "my" screw up ('little brother who can do no wrong- but that's another saga).
Multiple locker checks (and student cars) searches during the school year; a couple of weeks before graduation, major bust, you know who was the ringleader over 23 other kids. What made it even more hilarious was some of the kid's tried to claim that my truck was the delivery vehicle for what got confiscated; the fact that I got a big, fat ticket when it committed Hiri Kiri by eating it's camshaft at the new intersection 3 weeks before was all new info for them (the fact that the school had an informal "if it openly drips/ gushes gasoline, you have to park Here so authorities can respond) meant that everyone who needed to know knew what I drove.
3] Life overlap; approx. 6/8 weeks before Graduation, in production design/ manufacturing class (a legit class; problem was, it was also a dumping ground for a whole bunch of losers- read four real students/ fifteen seat warmers). Class goals; conceptualise, design, manufacture, and sell a product. Four people decide we might be able to sell cast aluminum key fobs.
Rules for the class: if the instructor feels that you Just Don't Give A, you get to (OH WOW!!!!!! sit on your for the whole hour. That's where the final "bullying" incident took place,
To be in this class, you're supposed to be a junior or senior that has taken all the other shop classes. If you're a sophomore, and this is your first metal shop class (more importantly.... maybe most importantly, instructor R, who teaches woodshop, has already thrown you out for talking trash, and has barred you from ever entering his shop again) you're not supposed to be in this class at all.
Needless to say, he's here, and it's not going to change.
Also, needless to say, is when you're one of the four allowed into the shop, you catch a lot of from the chair warmers. Not just in class, either.
On the day in question, I'm ramming up flasks at the sand table. It's smack dab up against the wall with the classroom. In the dividing wall are 3, maybe 4 of those institutional 6X18 wire mesh reinforced windows.
About 20, 25 min. in, listening to this mouthy little ingrate (open door between classroom and shop), I finally lose it. One shot from the 5 lb. sand rammer in my hand, and he's curled up under a desk on the other side of the room. The window is toast; loser #1 is kicking it off himroflol. My instructor (who was 2/maybe 3 steps from intervening) was just standing there, with a What Did I Just See?.
The final straw was having to attend a school board meeting to try to get a dollar amount out of them, so I could pay it off, and graduate on time, with the rest of my class ( Hilarious part; this was the 2nd such battle; if you've never taken it before, drama counts as your final english credit. Mrs G never caught that until the window incident.).
Our schools are F up; and I'm afraid it's only going to get worse before it get's better......:Angel_anim:
Reading thru all this is starting to making my head hurt:
the fact that it's a really relevant issue doesn't change that.Trying to boil this down; back in the day, when I was in school (mid `80's), I was seriously bullied. I never got away from it; just dealt with each case as it came up.
1] Sophmore year. As a large(ish?) kid (6'+, 280 lbs), and couldn't give a flyin' flip less about sports, most of my school's football team was intimidated by me. Guess what happened......
Needless to say, things finally came to a head; in, of all places, the line for class pictures. ( Two of my classmates went pro with the NFL; the one who was the running back still talked trash afterwards; the linebacker, whom I took down, well, we were quietly peaceable when we both graduated.).
2] 2nd week of my junior year, the leader of the smoker/ who knows what else crowd is seriously
about this stinky hog farmer having the locker next to him (I had turned him in for suspicious activity the day before); he tried to tell me what his rules were: me being me, I asked him how the locker check went.... I can tell you this much; I may be nearsighted as a bat, but when you're wearing a jacket a colorful as that??????
ME.. Broken glasses, two bloody lips
HIM.. Broken nose and 2 (2 ????) black eye's; all this under the watchful eye's of the assistant principal (yes, he was RIGHT THERE).
The A.P. tried to hang me out to dry ("cause actually doing his job would require, like, you know, work?). There are many times when My parents have failed me; this was not one of them. On the other hand, paybacks are a b
.Payback was first day of school of my senior year; class size had gotten so big (and we now had that many students) that we now had to share a locker. Guess who my new LOCKER PARTNER was?
Even I'm not that stupid; I missed all my classes (and both my parents were called [and on site]). That was my locker assignment; if anything suspicious came along/ up, well that was my problem. My parent's response? His parking permit (for skills/tech school/ work release) had better be approved ASAP, and my brother and I carried our books. Needless to say, he didn't think he should be "penalized" for "my" screw up ('little brother who can do no wrong- but that's another saga).
Multiple locker checks (and student cars) searches during the school year; a couple of weeks before graduation, major bust, you know who was the ringleader over 23 other kids. What made it even more hilarious was some of the kid's tried to claim that my truck was the delivery vehicle for what got confiscated; the fact that I got a big, fat ticket when it committed Hiri Kiri by eating it's camshaft at the new intersection 3 weeks before was all new info for them (the fact that the school had an informal "if it openly drips/ gushes gasoline, you have to park Here so authorities can respond) meant that everyone who needed to know knew what I drove.
3] Life overlap; approx. 6/8 weeks before Graduation, in production design/ manufacturing class (a legit class; problem was, it was also a dumping ground for a whole bunch of losers- read four real students/ fifteen seat warmers). Class goals; conceptualise, design, manufacture, and sell a product. Four people decide we might be able to sell cast aluminum key fobs.
Rules for the class: if the instructor feels that you Just Don't Give A
, you get to (OH WOW!!!!!! sit on your for the whole hour. That's where the final "bullying" incident took place,To be in this class, you're supposed to be a junior or senior that has taken all the other shop classes. If you're a sophomore, and this is your first metal shop class (more importantly.... maybe most importantly, instructor R, who teaches woodshop, has already thrown you out for talking trash, and has barred you from ever entering his shop again) you're not supposed to be in this class at all.
Needless to say, he's here, and it's not going to change.
Also, needless to say, is when you're one of the four allowed into the shop, you catch a lot of
from the chair warmers. Not just in class, either.On the day in question, I'm ramming up flasks at the sand table. It's smack dab up against the wall with the classroom. In the dividing wall are 3, maybe 4 of those institutional 6X18 wire mesh reinforced windows.
About 20, 25 min. in, listening to this mouthy little ingrate (open door between classroom and shop), I finally lose it. One shot from the 5 lb. sand rammer in my hand, and he's curled up under a desk on the other side of the room. The window is toast; loser #1 is kicking it off him
roflol. My instructor (who was 2/maybe 3 steps from intervening) was just standing there, with a What Did I Just See?.The final straw was having to attend a school board meeting to try to get a dollar amount out of them, so I could pay it off, and graduate on time, with the rest of my class ( Hilarious part; this was the 2nd such battle; if you've never taken it before, drama counts as your final english credit. Mrs G never caught that until the window incident.).
Our schools are F
up; and I'm afraid it's only going to get worse before it get's better......:Angel_anim:
machinist@large
Active member
:Angel_anim: Man, you don't know how right you are.....Keep to themselves*.....
What few friends they have*....
My few friends growing up was books. I'm a pretty fair reader because of it (and get my nose rubbed in it whenever some of my co-workers prove they are functionally illiterate......:Angel_anim
souperman000
New member
We had a motivational speaker that talked about bullying at school today.
Yuo guys were talking about the friends not stepping in. He told a story of a school on the east coast where two people got in a fight, but the school suspended 27 kids, because they stood there and did not try to intervene.
Yuo guys were talking about the friends not stepping in. He told a story of a school on the east coast where two people got in a fight, but the school suspended 27 kids, because they stood there and did not try to intervene.
standing by and watching society fall apart is a pretty big "just" if you ask me. i know this is a lot to lay on our kids, but imo machinist is correct...something's gotta change for the better, soon, or things will continue to get worse, if that's even possible.
Doc Sprocket
*********
As far as I'm concerned, "Just standing there" is as good as assisting the bully. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. Good on the school!
FatCat
2 stroke Addict!
I saw something pertaining to this the other day on Facebook. It was on my news feed as one of my friends liked it. Good on ya to the Queen Creek High School football team.(wherever you are) There was a mentally handicapped girl being bullied for being a special needs child and the captain of the football team took it upon himself to stick up for her. Now she eats lunch with the team daily and the players look out for her in the hallways. I thought that was a nice story. It said it made national news. That's great! All eyes on them! These young men should be rewarded. What's really cool for these guys is not only did they show great character. Guess how many people watch the news!
I think I mentioned earlier that someone see's every decision you make. I bet this will come back in a very positive way for them.
I think I mentioned earlier that someone see's every decision you make. I bet this will come back in a very positive way for them.
souperman000
New member
Thats sweet.
The football team at my school would never do that, unless the coach made them do it. They don't even respect the captains.
I know - I was on that team, and that is why I left.
OzFab
Well-known member
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