Sorry guys.. I do not speak retardese

[itsid]

Dear Newbies...

I know the language you're dealing with here is not the easiest on this planet of ours;
but you should try mine to get an idea of how easy it in fact IS!

And since you do not put any effort in spelling or grammar at all,

allow me to suggest the following:

Let's simplify the language you're trying to use even more.

First upper case is perfectly ignorable as well as all punctuation,
it's nothing but a waste of time anyways;
and while we're at it let's expand that to apostrophes..
Frankly, you don't know the difference between you're and your anyways, right?

Ready?.. Go!

so thats figured and we no longer have to deal with any special characters
perfect
thats not too bad either is it
well then lets proceed shall we

oh yes paragraphs or new lines a complete waste of time and space that cannot be ecofriendly so starting now we need to get rid of them as well and slowly but surely we get more and more efficient in typing stuff if thats stuff someone is able to decipher is not at all important the main reason for you hitting the keyboard is that you have to waste some time while moms preparing dinner isnt it good we already got pretty efficient but therere terrible long and complicated words in this language that you really wouldnt want to spell all the way to the end so lets start with removing every duplicated character to spel even shorter stuf in shorter time and since were all as col as a frozen lake we can reduce every er to an a and spare anotha keystroke wae geting thare already now the infamous y west of the atlantic its basicaly unwanted anyways so lets just replace it with an i thats a pafectli nice leta to is it not and talking about leta removal ou is basicali o aniwais so lets put that in place same goes for oe being o and ea being e as wel no harm no fol and stil we have a pafect post wel at lest acording to yo tiping okai and now for the final step everithing thats more than six letas shold reli be abreviated thre or for letas must sufice so we not onli tipe veri efic we also have lots of rom to spare to not onli make uterli stupid coms but also to drive ani reda insane tring to deci these post of ours....

Frankly, if you're not a native english speaker, that's perfectly fine for all of us in here;
we'll still try to help the best we can; but if you ARE;
then DAD GUMMIT take your time and spell properly,
I for one cannot decipher those retardese posts and frankly I have no intend to try more than once!

If you do not, do not expect us to help you with your problems!
We can't read the questions, we can't provide an answer; that easy!
And yes that is YOUR fault

'nough rant...
*picture me dropping a microphone*

'sid

 

[8t6bronco]

Bravo...very well said. When you first started typing in retardese I didn't think you could make it as bad as some of these clowns do, but I was wrong. Your spelling got bad enough to where I couldn't read the last few lines

 

[chancer]

Ok first Your and You're? Why do you gotta go pickin on Orange Krate?? LOL
I swear it is the smart phones and constant texting that turns these kids into Morons!
(Edit)
Wow! I just finished going through todays posts, And you are not kidding! I politely asked somebody to Buy a Punctuation mark. But the spelling hear is ridiculous.
In case anyone did not pick up on it 'Itsid' is German! and you would NEVER know it by his posts.

 

[Poboy kartman]

That's the worst part of all of it....DADGUMMIT! These Smartphones practically spell for you....(in fact....you CAN just talk into them), yet these morons cannot even make a decipherable post!

You are spot on 'Sid....it's total laziness....both in the classroom and online, and, in fact, a greater percentage of non-American, English as a second language members make acceptable and understandable posts than these lazy twittering blubbering text happy punks.

 

[itsid]

Bravo...very well said. When you first started typing in retardese I didn't think you could make it as bad as some of these clowns do, but I was wrong. Your spelling got bad enough to where I couldn't read the last few lines

tried my worst
actually I had to revisit my own lexicographical nightmare a few times to remove all punctuation and paragraphs as well as trying to follow my own made up rules ...

typing badly is harder than I thought

So for convenience:

we not only type very efficiently,
we also have lots of room to spare to not only make utterly stupid comments;
but also to drive any reader insane, trying to decipher these posts of ours.

Ok first Your and You're? Why do you gotta go pickin on Orange Krate?? LOL
I swear it is the smart phones and constant texting that turns these kids into Morons!
(Edit)
Wow! I just finished going through todays posts, And you are not kidding! I politely asked somebody to Buy a Punctuation mark. But the spelling hear is ridiculous.
In case anyone did not pick up on it 'Itsid' is German! and you would NEVER know it by his posts.

Thanks a lot, I at least try, sometimes I make mistakes though
(I have a hang to add a second o to lose... coincidence or self fullfilling prophecy?)
Anyways, I do try to make myself comprehensible in here,
something I can't say about some posts I read lately

Oh and to be clear:
Not Dennis
his' was a brain fart (did it several hundred times right and only missed once for all I know) I got no problem with that.
Also he fixed it right away ...
I won't tell who made me think of that example but he's always messing up these two (also their there they're and alike)

That's the worst part of all of it....DADGUMMIT! These Smartphones practically spell for you....(in fact....you CAN just talk into them), yet these morons cannot even make a decipherable post!

You are spot on 'Sid....it's total laziness....both in the classroom and online, and, in fact, a greater percentage of non-American, English as a second language members make acceptable and understandable posts than these lazy twittering blubbering text happy punks.

I can't say anything about classrooms nowadays.. Last one I've seen was - OMG - that long????? - ago, so I can't judge;

what I can say though is that we've dealt with several kids as of yet;
and many (I almost want to say MOST) of them were perfectly nice kids and I wouldn't complain about any of their posts...
But maybe it's because the ones I remember are the ones I happily conversed with

it's the few that ruin all their reputation IMHO.

I'm also unsure if it's the phones fault for some people turning into thumb wiggling zombies;
it's likely just a zombie that learned nothing but to wiggle it's thumb

Anyways, all I wanted to say is that it's not fun to put in extra effort just to decipher the question...
So I just won't.

'sid

 

[chancer]

Oh and to be clear:
"Not Dennis
his' was a brain fart (did it several hundred times right and only missed once for all I know) I got no problem with that.
Also he fixed it right away ..."

All in good fun of course
I was just remembering when y'all pointed that out. Funny thing is I read it several times and never noticed it. I think it was Mr. Wood that pointed it out.

 

[ML-TOYS]

The run on sentence really gets to me too. Nothing like ending a sentence and starting another with just the spacebar.
Btw

 

[Zombient]

my favoriet is when ppl type questoins like this and thy dont use any punction at all and the run on the sentences like this and they dont even get to the point because theyre asking random questions that have been asked about a hundred thousand times b4

 

[landuse]

But the spelling hear is ridiculous.

Case in point

 

[chancer]

Nice Catch! BTW done on pupose.

Case in point. Just last week, spelled ok but how about a period:

"I'm 19 I've been doing go karts minibikes lawnmowers anything with a motor I could get my hands on and I've been riding motorcycles and dirt bikes for a bit now as well I currently daily my 1994 fireblade this will be my first time building my own frame from the ground up my budget right Now I have $800 I feel that will be enough to start the frame and I just picked up a lot more days at work I should be able to make $400 a month spare for it"

 

[ezcome-ezgo]

Also it's the first impression you make in many circumstances. Imagine shaking the hand of a person whom you just met and listening to them verbally ramble in the same fashion as they post. I know I would temper my intellectual expectations of that person right away.

 

[crazykart]

I usually just ignore it anymore.

Misspellings every now and again are fine. Every other word is not.

Sentences a tad too long I can deal with. A paragraph as a sentence I can't.

Text speech I can deal with to a point. And entire sentence...or paragraph of it, no.

If it meets one of the "can't deal with criteria" I usually just skip it.

I know my fat fingers, mixed with fast typing on my phone, can lead to somethings being off. No one is perfect (even though we each like to think we are lol) but if a person won't put in effort to get their point down clearly...I will put forth no effort to decipher it. If it's not too bad I may read, at least some effort was put in.

A lot of people, myself included, could do well to proofread their posts, and make use of the edit button.

 

[DHC]

IMO.. too many kids/ppl thinking that typing/posting is the same as texting.

... also, why's it gotta be an "Retardese"? Why not 'Retardican' or 'Retardlian'... or just call em "Technology consumed red-necks"

... hehe

 

[Badot]

Bad grammar, spelling, and sentence structure is one thing. I love it when they combine something like this with it though:

"Hey guys I know exactly what I'm doing, but someone give me a step by step of how to put a supersport engine on my 50 year old go kart, and make it simple enough a 5 year old could understand. Watch me as I come up with contrived reasons as to why this is a great idea despite everyone else telling me I'm an idiot. Also, I can't weld, it has to be street legal, and has to cost less than $100. I'm using Harbor Freight wheels. PS: where can I find a supersport engine?"

 

[itsid]

No Tihm it's not A retardese.. it's redardese (the language only)
I wouldn't dare to call the people a retard just because they put no effort in typing
(although that's not actually a smart move )
[no period just a paragraph only for you Gordon ]

Anywhoo redardese (as a language of it's own) I do not speak..
as little as chinese which ending it borrowed to label it as "incomprehensible language".

'sid

 

[Zombient]

Bad grammar, spelling, and sentence structure is one thing. I love it when they combine something like this with it though:

"Hey guys I know exactly what I'm doing, but someone give me a step by step of how to put a supersport engine on my 50 year old go kart, and make it simple enough a 5 year old could understand. Watch me as I come up with contrived reasons as to why this is a great idea despite everyone else telling me I'm an idiot. Also, I can't weld, it has to be street legal, and has to cost less than $100. I'm using Harbor Freight wheels. PS: where can I find a supersport engine?"

You're very right about that. Makes me think of this.

http://www.diygokarts.com/vb/showthread.php?t=22600

We really need a "Hall of Fame" section. Read this thread, then look at the picture. I've not laughed that hard in a long time. Nor have I ever seen a "2 pieces of wood go kart that goes 30mph."

 

[rocketkart]

hay itsid. ther duck siwm's on the leek wither tha oter duckes. sorry !!!

 

[J_Walker]

I hav this domichikcy put on his othur hooachy skrewed on to with a spring.

HOW DO I FIX IT?! I THINK ITS A GOKART!

 

[chancer]

I just hate trying to spell the word:
Definitely.
But I dont feel so bad when I see how bad most you butcher it.
Defiantly
definetely
definetaly

It is just a weird word!

 

[Poboy kartman]

I just hate trying to spell the word:
Definitely.
But I dont feel so bad when I see how bad most you butcher it.
Defiantly
definetely
definetaly

It is just a weird word!

Why? define weird. Really, I think that's what's throwing you. Definite. Definitive. Definitely. Toss define out....and it's definitely much simpler.