So my daughter just got her scooter learners licence

[landuse]

My daughter turned 16 a month ago, and has gotten her scooter learners licence. We bought her a scooter so that she can get to school and back, as well as having a little bit of freedom. We were dropping her off and picking her up each day, and amount of gas we were using was hugely expensive.

I am now not too sure if it was a good idea. What if she gets hit by a car, gets into an accident etc. I have a bike myself, so I know how bad drivers can be regarding motorbikes. She seems to ride well considering she is still learning to ride on a public road.

We bought her a leather bike jacket and gloves which she has to wear each time she rides, as well as a good helmet. We thought we would try give her all the protection we can, just in case something happens

I suppose my wife and I have to let go sometime, but you get scared that something is going to happen to your kid somewhere along the way. It is part of being a parent I suppose.

What do you guys who have kids think about the whole letting go thing?

 

[OzFab]

Being worried means you care On the other hand, you have reason to worry if drivers are anything like they are here...

If she's sensible, she'll be extra careful so she should be ok.

As for letting go: My 19yo daughter lives 1000ks away with her mother. About 6 months ago her mother told me she (our daughter) was pregnant. At first, I freaked, until she reminded me that our son was born when she (my ex) was only 16 so, she was already 3 years up on her mother... Sadly, she miscarried about 2 months later.

Our job as parents is to prepare our kids for the big bad world as best we can. What they do once they come of age is, for the most part, beyond our control

 

[Mcbreja]

My boys are only 6 & 9, so I still have a ways to go before I get to experience that level of terror and dread. Part of what brought me to this site was the desire to instill good driving habits while at the same time making it fun for them.

Like Fabroman said, it is our job to teach them the best we can and then fighting to urge to hold onto them, refusing to let go when it's time for them make their way into the big, bad world. <--I'm of the opinion that that is the most terrifying of all thoughts.

 

[95badbird]

good thing about buying her good saftey gear.
As i always preach, you ride to crash, not ride for comfort.

 

[souperman000]

Being a teenager myself, I am glad to have my license, but my parents can be kind of annoying with stuff like this. That being said, I know that they are saying it for my safety and for their comfort. (good thing they had two other kids to practice on before me )

I think it was very wise to make her wear all the safety gear. I was told a while ago some tricks about staying safe on a motorcycle. Never ride at night, don't go on the freeway, and never ride with a passenger. Following those rules should keep her pretty safe...along with her common sense and drving ability of course.

My mom won't let me even talk abput getting a motorcycle license around her. In her ER days, they called them "donorcycles".

It is obviously different in SA than America, but I am glad she got a scooter, it gives her a little independence. Remember, now that she can drive, you don't have to ground her....you ground the scooter!

 

[Doc Sprocket]

Oh, wow... I don't envy you right now- I'd be freaked. It's got nothing to do with whether you feel your child is competent; it's got everything to do with knowing the fact that every other driver is NOT! I've been driving about 24 years, logged (best educated guess) well over a million kilometres in that time. Most often, it's in and around major metropolitan areas. I also have motorcycle experience. And I'll tell you- If you think there's a FEW idiots on the road, wait 'till you're on a motorcycle! Then, it seems like there isn't one functioning brain cell on the road, save for yours!

Your daughter may indeed be competent, but she's new. You can't teach instinct, reflex, or the ability to rather accurately foresee the future. This comes only with experience.

My mantra, on the road-

"I am paying attention, because you're NOT!"

Sorry, Paul- I don't mean to scare you, but it scares me. All you can do is hook her up with the best safety gear, the best advice, and hope for the best.... And NO Ipod/Mp3/Phone/headphones/earbuds, whatever. Major distraction!

 

[OzFab]

My mantra, on the road-

"I am paying attention, because you're NOT!"

The most important thing my driving instructor taught me was "the biggest idiot on the road is right beside you & in front of you & behind you".

Translation: If you anticipate that no one else knows what they're doing, you can react accordingly to just about any situation.

N.B. Accidents don't just happen, people mess up...

 

[Doc Sprocket]

The most important thing my driving instructor taught me was "the biggest idiot on the road is right beside you & in front of you & behind you".

Translation: If you anticipate that no one else knows what they're doing, you can react accordingly to just about any situation.

N.B. Accidents don't just happen, people mess up...

You're absolutely right! I generally operate under the assumption that a person is going to do the dumbest possible thing at the worst possible moment, and go from there.

I've had but one accident. It was in 2002, on a major freeway, at about 60 MPH (100Km/h). I dodged a potential hit, and somebody coming up fast on my left overreacted, panicked, bounced off the guardrail, and tagged me. This spun me through a slow 180*, causing me to have a bit of a "meeting" with a tractor-trailer hauling TWO tankers of gasoline... There was no way I could have avoided that. Amazingly, I was completely uninjured.

Another Quick story- The day I did my driver's test waaaay back when- it was raining. Not raining, raining, but the kind of rain that having your wipers on full speed has the exact same effect as having them off- nothing! I mean, it was bloody pouring!

I had TWO near misses during that test. At the end of it all, the test instructor explained to me that 1) I passed overall 2) He was docking me a point for driving "too fast for conditions, and 3) I got bonus points for avoiding the two potential accidents...

 

[OzFab]

I've had but one accident. It was in 2002, on a major freeway, at about 60 MPH (100Km/h). I dodged a potential hit, and somebody coming up fast on my left overreacted, panicked, bounced off the guardrail, and tagged me. This spun me through a slow 180*, causing me to have a bit of a "meeting" with a tractor-trailer hauling TWO tankers of gasoline... There was no way I could have avoided that.

Now, if you really think about it, that was no accident, someone messed up (not pointing any fingers), whether it was the driver that hit you for going too fast &/or overreacting, you for swerving to avoid a hit or the idiot you avoided. Either way, it was no accident...

After reading the driving test story ack2: I just pull over when it's like that) I have no doubt that you were not at fault...

 

[landuse]

As for letting go: My 19yo daughter lives 1000ks away with her mother. About 6 months ago her mother told me she (our daughter) was pregnant. At first, I freaked, until she reminded me that our son was born when she (my ex) was only 16 so, she was already 3 years up on her mother... Sadly, she miscarried about 2 months later.

Our job as parents is to prepare our kids for the big bad world as best we can. What they do once they come of age is, for the most part, beyond our control

I am sorry to hear about your daughters miscarriage, and you are totally right about all that we can do is prepare our kids for later in life. You have got to let go sometime

As i always preach, you ride to crash, not ride for comfort.

Thats a good philosophy....

I think it was very wise to make her wear all the safety gear. I was told a while ago some tricks about staying safe on a motorcycle. Never ride at night, don't go on the freeway, and never ride with a passenger. Following those rules should keep her pretty safe...along with her common sense and drving ability of course.

It is obviously different in SA than America....

Over here we have 2 classes of motorbike licences. The first, where you have to be 16 to get your learners and 17 to get your licence, s for anything equal to or smaller than 125cc. The next one is for everything above and including 125cc (your big bike licence). You have to be 17 to get a learners for it and 18 to get your licence.

For a car, you have to be 17 to get your learners and 18 to get your licence. You need a licenced driver with you at all times in the car if you still only have your learners.

It's got nothing to do with whether you feel your child is competent; it's got everything to do with knowing the fact that every other driver is NOT! !

Your daughter may indeed be competent, but she's new. You can't teach instinct, reflex, or the ability to rather accurately foresee the future. This comes only with experience.

My mantra, on the road-

"I am paying attention, because you're NOT!"

Sorry, Paul- I don't mean to scare you, but it scares me. All you can do is hook her up with the best safety gear, the best advice, and hope for the best.... And NO Ipod/Mp3/Phone/headphones/earbuds, whatever. Major distraction!

It is exactly the fact that she is still new that I am worried about. How can you teach the reflex and instinct? You cant. She has to learn that herself, and I am worried that something might happen before she does.

The most important thing my driving instructor taught me was "the biggest idiot on the road is right beside you & in front of you & behind you".

Translation: If you anticipate that no one else knows what they're doing, you can react accordingly to just about any situation.

N.B. Accidents don't just happen, people mess up...

I tried to tell her this over and over again, so hopefully it sinks in. You can be the best driver out there, but you are only as safe as the weakest link of a driver on the road.

She was going to ride to school for the first time today. My wife was going to ride behind her in the car just to make sure everything went well. (My wife was told to turn off somewhere before the schools so her buddies didn't see mommy riding behind her ). I was so glad when I woke up this morning and saw that it was raining. She can't ride her bike in the rain unless she is accidentally caught out in it.

One of the problems is that she has to ride through town to get to school, and we have really crazy taxis that do their own thing.

As a parent, you have this tendency to try and shield your kids from all things bad....or raise them in a bubble. This turns out to be a bad thing at the end of the day, as those bubble kids are never prepared to face the world. The bubble kids fall down easily at any hurdle, while the other kids are stronger and can face the world for what it really is.

Anywhooooo......hopefully it rains again tomorrow

 

[sexyvicta]

yeh get her some gear

i always see girls riding scooters in skirts and open shoes etc and i cringe

only time i've ever crashed a motor bike on tarseal was at about 40kph and it hurt. I was wearing full gear- jacket, gloves, helmet, boots, except on my legs i was wearing jeans and they didn't do a good job. Now i always wear my motorbike pants haha

 

[landuse]

yeh get her some gear

i always see girls riding scooters in skirts and open shoes etc and i cringe

only time i've ever crashed a motor bike on tarseal was at about 40kph and it hurt. I was wearing full gear- jacket, gloves, helmet, boots, except on my legs i was wearing jeans and they didn't do a good job. Now i always wear my motorbike pants haha

We have bought her a proper leather bike jacket with all the padding as well as bike gloves.

 

[OzFab]

As a parent, you have this tendency to try and shield your kids from all things bad....or raise them in a bubble. This turns out to be a bad thing at the end of the day, as those bubble kids are never prepared to face the world. The bubble kids fall down easily at any hurdle, while the other kids are stronger and can face the world for what it really is.

The little princess came off her bicycle the other day. As she came limping over to me I thought there's two ways to handle this. I could
a) bundle her up saying things like" oh, you poor thing, are you ok? Did you hurt yourself?" or
b) Casually inspect the damage & say "ah, it's just a scratch, off you go"

Which do you think I did?

 

[anderkart]

A couple safety tricks I learned riding motorcycles in a big town with lots of traffic/crazy drivers, were:

Cars making turns in front of motorcycles is one of the biggest dangers. Motorcycles are simply so narrow that some drivers dont notice them; So firstly, I always rode with my lights on. (meaning even in daytime) Then, anytime I was approaching a situation where a car might not notice me, I'd repeatedly flick my headlight from low to high-beam. (just to get their attention)

Another big potential danger is when a motorcycle is stopped at a red-light or stop-sign. Lots of times cars dont notice the bike and plow right into the back of it... (definetly not a good thing!)

I'd tell your daughter to be constantly looking all around, forward/both-sides and back (checking her rear view mirror) anytime she has to stop (or slow-down) on or near the road. Then If she see's a car approaching (that she feels might not see her/stop in time); she may find she has enough time to either quickly-ride off to the side of the road, or even just bail-off the bike and run to any safer location if necessary!

Tell her the bike can always be replaced, but she cant...

 

[landuse]

The little princess came off her bicycle the other day. As she came limping over to me I thought there's two ways to handle this. I could
a) bundle her up saying things like" oh, you poor thing, are you ok? Did you hurt yourself?" or
b) Casually inspect the damage & say "ah, it's just a scratch, off you go"

Which do you think I did?

I bet you were the BAD parent and didnt Coddle her. Lol

A couple safety tricks I learned riding motorcycles in a big town with lots of traffic/crazy drivers, were:

Cars making turns in front of motorcycles is one of the biggest dangers. Motorcycles are simply so narrow that some drivers dont notice them; So firstly, I always rode with my lights on. (meaning even in daytime) Then, anytime I was approaching a situation where a car might not notice me, I'd repeatedly flick my headlight from low to high-beam. (just to get their attention)

Another big potential danger is when a motorcycle is stopped at a red-light or stop-sign. Lots of times cars dont notice the bike and plow right into the back of it... (definetly not a good thing!)

I'd tell your daughter to be constantly looking all around forward/both-sides and back (checking her rear view mirror) anytime she has to stop (or slow-down) on or near the road. Then If she see's a car approaching (that she feels might not see her/stop in time); she may find she has enough time to either quickly-ride off to the side of the road, or even just bail-off the bike and run to any safer location if necessary!

Tell her the bike can always be replaced, but she cant...

Thanks Eric. I will pass on the tips.

 

[OzFab]

I viol you were the BAD parent and didnt Coddle her. Lol

Correct

Even when they were little, when my kids fell down, I'd laugh. That may sound cruel but, If you gasp & freak out when a kid hurts themselves, they'll cry. If you laugh, unless they really did hurt themselves, they'll laugh too

 

[crazzywolfie]

there is a lot of good advise in this thread but there is a bit disagree with. i think kids learn instinct and reflex from parents and other people whether you realize it or not. the Sunday that just past i nearly got in an accident with some idiot that was snoozing at the wheel and pretty much ran a red light. i think i if i had not been raised with my dads kind of crazy driving i would have plowed right into him. using my good instinct and reflex's that i have picked up over the year i managed to get around the car without hitting it but i still ended up coming to a compete stop on the shoulder on the opposite side of the road. it scared the $h1t out of me and i would never want it to happen again.

i can definitely understand all the worrying. there is lots of stupid drivers out there. even riding a bicycle on the road is not safe.

 

[Doc Sprocket]

there is a lot of good advise in this thread but there is a bit disagree with. i think kids learn instinct and reflex from parents and other people whether you realize it or not. the Sunday that just past i nearly got in an accident with some idiot that was snoozing at the wheel and pretty much ran a red light. i think i if i had not been raised with my dads kind of crazy driving i would have plowed right into him. using my good instinct and reflex's that i have picked up over the year i managed to get around the car without hitting it but i still ended up coming to a compete stop on the shoulder on the opposite side of the road. it scared the $h1t out of me and i would never want it to happen again.

i can definitely understand all the worrying. there is lots of stupid drivers out there. even riding a bicycle on the road is not safe.

I don't think instinct or reflex can be either taught or inherited. I think it's a combination of your own personality, and experience. Skill can be taught. But let me paint you a picture-

I'm sitting alone at a red light waiting to go straight through and minding my own business. There is sporadic cross traffic. Suddenly, over the stereo, I hear the howl of tires. My eyes flick up to the rearview mirror. In it, I see a fullsize Chevrolet Impala (An American, V8, BIG sedan for our international members) careening towards me- all 4 wheels are locked up, he's sliding at a 30* angle to the road, and I'm just a tick away from getting absolutely creamed. In the blink of an eye, I time the moment, bang the shifter into first, whip the wheel hard right, pin the gas, and dump the clutch. My tail swings hard as I slide around the corner, JUST tucking in behind a car that had crossed in front of me on his green light. The sliding Impala skidded straight through where I was sitting, and straight through the intersection, JUST missing another crossing car.

I saved my own bacon by making a snap decision faster than I could have even thought about it. Instinct and reflex. How can you teach this?

 

[OzFab]

I saved my own bacon by making a snap decision faster than I could have even thought about it. Instinct and reflex. How can you teach this?

I had a similar situation many years ago where I had to put my car into the same shape as the Impala in your story to avoid a collision, based on something I overheard a few days prior.

Yes, anyone can be taught just about anything but, in that situation, can you honestly say that had nothing to do with natural ability? I'd only been driving for about three months at that point...

Skill can be taught.

Sorry but, I disagree. IMO, skill is inherent; if you've got it, you've got it, if you don't it can't be taught.

I have a natural knack to be able to do what I do. True, over the years I have learned different tricks & procedures but, without the natural skill, I wouldn't be able to use them to my best advantage

 

[crazzywolfie]

but it is sometimes the things like that, that the kids learn from. even at school they are taught reflex's and instinct through games like dodge ball but don't realize it because it is fun. you could also say kids pick up a lot from video games with how realistic some of them are getting.