The Sarge Chronicles.

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Kelly Wood

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Seeing I've landed where I have with my trusty Sarge Kart being the only one that survived 4 year whirlwind of kart creationism, I thought it might be fun to write her story from beginning to end.

Anyone that followed along my last lengthy post (the kartrods) might remember bits I pieces, but it's just something I want to do.

Personally, I'm surprised it has a following at all because all she is... is junk parts thrown together over time with a bit of an artistic mish-mash thrown in.

Perhaps you'll find it interesting to see exactly where she came from, and what every little part is.

I know, I know... it's just a go kart. But, she's special to me.

We'll write this over the next few months and include pictures from beginning to end... and throw in a twist. We'll write it from two points of view for you readers that just love to read.

From my point of view, and hers.

Pretty stupid huh? Yea, Crazy talk, I know.

Who cares.

If you don't like it, don't read it.


The idea came to me as I stared at it this evening seeing all the stuff I've collected and created for it.

The story will culminate and continue forward when I get to where I'm building a trailer for it... for all her spare stuff.

Stay tuned for, the story of Sarge... Right here on DIY... where She was created.
 

KartFab

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Cant wait to see it. Just remember people like to read and watch, and if you start getting lack of comments, its just because we are all in awe of your posting and us adding any words to your post would only detract from its greatness.
 

Kelly Wood

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Ok folks, here goes. You see, I like to write sometimes so we're going to spin a little tale from two perspectives: Mine, and Sarge's... mainly Sarge's. You'll see my thoughts & such in Bold.

Of course, I'm writing it but I'm going to write it like a... well, you'll see. I do hope y'all enjoy.

On with the crazy...


Part I
Kearns Utah.

"Get off me you ugly beast. Don’t you have a child you can go annoy?" I said as that that cat wandered around me in my little dusty corner.

Hi, I'm Sarge.

I'm a go kart.

Well, that's what I'm called these days anyway.

Other than myself, only my current owner & his daughter know the real reason behind the name, but no matter.

I never thought in my lifetime I'd end up in a place where I was loved.

As with most fun karts, the life I led before this guy found me was less than glamorous.

I think I started out in a cheap off-road shop of sorts where all the new full suspension foreign models were all the rage. Sales were down and models such as myself with no suspension were becoming more rare as the human race got more lazy and pampered.

When I was new, I had off-road go kart wheels, a clamp on roll bar option, pads, and a tecumseh 6 hp motor on me. Tecumseh went belly up shortly thereafter. My steering wheel & seat were plastic but it worked. I looked like a hundred bucks.

I'm still not sure what kind of go kart I am, and my owner doesn't know either... but he's a smart one. I'm sure he'll get it figured out someday with the help of his oh-so-smart friend overseas. He's a stickler for historical stuff sometimes.

The day I was bought new and taken home was exciting for me. Tragically however, I ended up in a garage after only a few times out in the neighborhood. The evil, and less-than-behaved, offspring of this guy that bought me... in very short order... wrecked me badly.

I sat for a long time collecting dust in that weird smelling place called a garage while the world went on and those kids turned into even less well behaved adults and left home.

I don't know where one of my front wheels went and the guy had put a replacement on which was an inch bigger than my originals. My live rear axle was bent beyond repair, brakes were broken, my seat was gone now too. So there I sat, crooked and just broken.
Just take me to the dump already pal.


Fall, 2012.

One day, among numerous people showing up to look at me, this tall lanky looking guy shows up. He had gray'ish spiked hair, in his mid 40's and dressed nice.

Evidently, I'd been put up for sale.

"Wonderful." I thought to myself. "Wonder what I'm going to be used for now? Probably a wheel barrow."

He did the usual looking & such... then without much hesitation, hands the guy some money and drags me to his car, throwing me in the back of his car.

His name was Kelly.

It was a warm fall afternoon and the ride home with my nether-regions hanging from the back of his car was uneventful. It was nice to at least hear some music & feel the wind again. I didn't recognize a lot because I'd not seen the light of day for a decade or two. All the cars on the road were so nice.

Kelly's point of view:
When I got this thing home, honestly I was just looking for parts. I only wanted some wheels & axle parts for my new hobby, these goofy hot-rod inspired, themed go karts I'd been making.
I sat the parts in my driveway, then snapped a picture in the middle of assessing & dismantling this poor thing.
 

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There was however, something about the frame. It was a beefy one. It wasn't bent and made of 1 1/4 in chrome molly tubing. The steering still worked too.

Sitting in the driveway, I noticed a few other strange go karts and one racing kart. I really was hoping not to become just parts for these others, but at this point I didn't care. Compared to these other rides, I was just white-trash.

This guy was really a quick moving fellow.

In no time at all, he pulled me apart & tossed away what wasn't usable.

I must say, it was cute to watch. This lanky tall dude armed with a can of WD40, various tools and a rather large hammer attempting to remove those bearings.

It took him 2 hours to get every piece of my axle parts off alone. They were either rusted on or jammed due to my wreck long ago.

When all that was done, he'd pulled out a few other things, an axle and some wheels. With what was left, I sat thinking that I might be saved after all... sporting these new wheels & such.

Even though I didn't have a motor I felt pretty good about the future. It was kind of neat to roll around freely too.
 

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While sitting there, I got a better glimpse of the others. They all sat on makeshift stands... like patients on hospital gurneys. They weren't normal karts though. They were a bit different.

The blue one was called Urban Defiance... a kart that appeared to be quite fast, looked like a jet fighter, and built of spare stuff and boat parts.

Another was called Bonneville Spirit and the Third was called Brown Thunder.

"Brown Thunder? Who names anything that?" I said, snickering.

"He does." Said Urban Defiance.

"Sounds like an insult to me killer." I replied.

"Bite me dune buggy girl!" Brown Thunder said.

The day ended with me in the back yard. At least I was level, rolling, and in once piece.

The next few months I sat in his back yard underneath a boat where, often, his kid & her friends would roll me around the yard & pretend to be race car drivers... which, funny enough, his daughter was a race car driver as I'd find out in the coming years.

Winter was coming and I'd be staying under that boat until Spring. At least there weren't rats & pesky animals to deal with. It was clean & quiet and I was covered up.

End Part I.
 

Kelly Wood

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Mid story author Detour:

We'll jump forward in time for a sec now & take a peek at the trailer this goofy kart has... now in progress.

One old makeshift kart stand / gurney made of old bed frames, spare unused wheels and parts of an old fence round out the older look this, um... trailer is taking on.

The slats, are on top of another full sized piece of plywood. Gives enough to stand on so, for now.

Thanks for a'lookin.
 

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