my_mini_bike
02-29-2008, 04:13 AM
The REAL use or garage tools...
Hammer: Originally weapon of war, the hammer is used as a kind of diving rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object you were trying to hit.
Stanley Knife: Used to slice through the contents of cardboard boxes; works well on boxes containing leather goods.
Electric Hand Drill: Normally used for spinning steel pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.
Pliers: Used to round off bolt heads.
Hacksaw: One of the family of cutting tools on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into crooked, unpredictable motion and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
Vicegrips: Used to Round off bolt heads and transfer welding heat to your hand.
Oxy-Accetylene Torch: For lighting anything flamible in your garage.
Whitworth Sockets: Once used for working on old british cars, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 15mm socket you cant find.
Drill Press: An upright machine useful for snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flies across the room into that freshly painted part you were drying.
Wire Wheel: Cleans rust off old bolts and throws them under the workbench at the speed of light. Also removes fingertips.
Tin Snips: See hacksaw
Lead Light: Consumes 40 watt light bulbs at the same rate howitzer shells were used at the battle of bulge.
Phillips Screw Driver:Normally used to stab the lids of old-style tin cans and splash oil on your shirt. it can also be used as the name suggests, to round off phillips screw heads.
Pneumatic Impact Wrench: A machine which uses the incredible power of compressed air to grip rusty bolts last tightened 40 years ago by someone in Detroit, and rounds them off.
Hose Cutters: A tool used to cut hoses half an inch too short
:thumbsup:
Hammer: Originally weapon of war, the hammer is used as a kind of diving rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object you were trying to hit.
Stanley Knife: Used to slice through the contents of cardboard boxes; works well on boxes containing leather goods.
Electric Hand Drill: Normally used for spinning steel pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.
Pliers: Used to round off bolt heads.
Hacksaw: One of the family of cutting tools on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into crooked, unpredictable motion and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
Vicegrips: Used to Round off bolt heads and transfer welding heat to your hand.
Oxy-Accetylene Torch: For lighting anything flamible in your garage.
Whitworth Sockets: Once used for working on old british cars, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 15mm socket you cant find.
Drill Press: An upright machine useful for snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flies across the room into that freshly painted part you were drying.
Wire Wheel: Cleans rust off old bolts and throws them under the workbench at the speed of light. Also removes fingertips.
Tin Snips: See hacksaw
Lead Light: Consumes 40 watt light bulbs at the same rate howitzer shells were used at the battle of bulge.
Phillips Screw Driver:Normally used to stab the lids of old-style tin cans and splash oil on your shirt. it can also be used as the name suggests, to round off phillips screw heads.
Pneumatic Impact Wrench: A machine which uses the incredible power of compressed air to grip rusty bolts last tightened 40 years ago by someone in Detroit, and rounds them off.
Hose Cutters: A tool used to cut hoses half an inch too short
:thumbsup: